Actors:
Script:
[Scene opens in a psychiatrist office, zoomed in on the storage admin in a clearly very emotional state, sitting on a couch facing another person out of view and talking to them. He’s clutching his hands over someone else’s]
[Storage Admin] Look, I’m just not sure where this is going. We met each other so long ago, and over time, I think our relationship just got sort of….comfortable.
Lately, I’ve started to feel like you are taking ‘us’ for granted. I try SO hard to make you happy, all the little things, the tuning and maintenance, but it just never seems to be enough.
[Scene zooms out to reveal that he’s talking to a storage array, he’s got a fibre channel cable between his hands, storage admin drops the cable and buries his face in his hands and sobs a bit]
[Storage Admin] Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s me that’s changed. I’ve taken on additional responsibilities, I got promoted to manage storage and virtualization, and dealing with your little idiosyncrasies, the LUNs, the tiering, the BIN files…the stuff we used to love…it just isn’t so fun anymore.
[Doctor, looking at disk array] How does this make you feel?
[Storage Admin] The silent treatment again? Well I’ll continue.
[Storage Admin] I tried to tell myself that appearances don’t matter…but you’ve been kind of packin’ on the disk lately…all those spindles to keep pace. I’ve come to realize that datacenter power and space do matter to me.
[Doctor] Now Jim, let’s keep this constructive, we’re here searching for solutions. Gather the strength and tell us about your moment of enlightenment.
[Storage Admin] Before long I felt like you were actually working against me. The performance variability, the disk failures, the day-long re-builds. People started calling and complaining, but I made excuses for you, I told them it was my fault for not setting your caching properly or pinning enough VMs to SSD LUNs.
[Storage Admin, reaching a peak of emotion] Even I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until we tried VDI on you. [quietly] That’s what drove me to start looking around online.
[Doctor, surprised] Wait a minute Jim…is there, someone else?
[Storage Admin] Yes, yes….it all started so innocently, just a point solution to save our virtual desktop infrastructure. But the Purity of the all-flash architecture was so exhilarating!
I started deploying it secretly on the weekends, moving some VMs over and back, but the web of lies started catching up with me. How could I explain it? Why were some VMs getting sub-millisecond latency, while others were worse as ever? How could I choose which deserved flash?
[Doctor] Who expects you to play God?
[Storage Admin, pausing] I think I should admit that I got addicted to the deduplication. 5-to-1 data reduction with no performance penalty. I mean, who can resist that kind of efficiency? Just take a look… [taking out phone and swipes through a few funny pics of him with FlashArray]
[Doctor, shaking his head] Whew…. [fanning himself with his hand]
[Storage Admin] So finally, I had to take the plunge and go all-flash. The double lifestyle was killing me, and I just couldn’t force disk on my users anymore. But you know the best part? It turns out all-flash is actually costing me less than trying to make it happy [pointing to the disk array].
[Storage Admin, leaning back] And…talk about low maintenance. [Looking at the storage array] You used to take a freakin’ week to get ready! Now the storage practically manages itself, and helps me run workloads people never thought possible before.
[Doctor] Wow, Jim, it looks like you’ve…got this all figured out.
[Storage Admin] But, doc, the biggest thing, is how it makes me feel. I never thought I’d say this, but, I think I found a storage array that I love. I’m done here. [Gets up, looks at disk array with disgust, shakes head and leaves]
[Doc looks embarrassingly at storage array, shrugs. Camera looks at storage array, who says nothing.]
[Video cuts to motion graphics with voice over]
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Is it time you broke up with disk? Call our marriage counselors at 800-379-PURE.